How to say NO to marriage

Here are some things you may have heard from people around you if you have decided to not get married or not have children. Also, some possible responses to defend yourself with. This originally went out as a Twitter thread.

You don't want to get married because you fear responsibility.

Responsibility is a good thing to fear. If you're not ready for responsibility, blundering into it will not make you responsible. Better to take responsibilities you ARE ready for. Like your career or your cause.

You're not taking marriage seriously.

I do take it seriously. That's why I am content to wait till I find someone worthy of spending the rest of my life with. I wish people would take marriage seriously and stop marrying for sex, stability, or because their parents want it. THAT’S irresponsible.

You are starving. Get a wife.

I can hire a cook. Who the fuck marries for food!

You will regret not having someone to talk to when you're old.

First, I like being by myself. Second, I have a really close circle of friends. Third, I have a social life full of like-minded people and allies. Lastly, marriage is not a retirement policy.

There are... Heh heh... “Other things” only a wife can give you.

Never marry for sex. You can get sex elsewhere. Perhaps among like-minded folks or casual partners. Heck, even paying for sex is better than marrying for sex. Marrying for sex is disgusting.

Think about your parents. Who will take care of them?

I will. Besides, I have already mentioned it's stupid to marry simply because you need a maid.

You need children to take care of you when you get old.

Kids are not a retirement policy. And a large part of our culture of abuse stems from this particular set of expectations - children as vessels for parents to put their expectations in.

You will regret this when you're old.

Most people will regret something. I might regret not marrying or having kids. But some others might regret not following their dreams when they're old. Everyone will have regrets. Everyone has to choose what those regrets will be.

To end, marriage and children are just two of many things in life that you can do. It's not something you have to do. And it's definitely not a magic pill that will solve all the problems in your life. It might actually make matters worse. It often does.

We need to stop being superstitious about the alleged magical powers of marriage. Marriage isn't evil. But it's not something that necessarily makes your life better. It's an option, like everything else.

By the way, all of the reasons above are good reasons to get married, but ONLY if they are YOUR reason. If they are not however, feel free to use all or any of these against nosy relatives on family WhatsApp groups.

Fear of... Heroes?

Some years ago, I was roaming CP with a new friend and she remarked, after noting the gigantic tricolour that flutters above central park that it was “imposing”. And she meant the word two ways. I got to wondering why the flag of your own country would make you uncomfortable.

I think it is a kind of Herophobia. Today’s video is about the fear of heroes that I have written about before.

Click here to watch the video - Herophobia - How stories can twist societies

Religion in danger? Hal Jordan to the rescue

A new video is up. In this episode of my vlog, I have tried to respond to the offence that some of my work gives to people and instead of being snide about it, I have tried to go to the root of the matter. Stories are the source of identity and that is where religious offence, and even toxic fandoms, comes from.

Watch the video here — Is your religion in danger? Hal Jordan to the rescue

Thanks for watching. If you liked it, click LIKE, SHARE it on social media, and SUBSCRIBE to the channel if you haven’t already.

My video response to the controversy over Netflix's Leila series

In response to some super sensitive ladies and gentlemen on Twitter who thought that a dystopian future is disrespectful to India and Hindus, I made a video - the first episode of my YouTube vlog.

Watch it here — LEILA by NETFLIX is not anti-Hindu propaganda

As the say in YT-land, please like and share the video, and subscribe to the channel. And tell a friend.

The meat of the matter

So today, I’m going to talk about our system of eating whereby some practising Hindus eat meat only on some days of the week but not on others.

In theory, this is supposed to bring a kind of moderation to your meat consumption. The idea is that had it not been for culturally sanctioned days of purity, people would eat meat all the time.

However, here is something funny I have noticed.

Many Indians are more concerned with appearing to be vegetarian instead of actually being vegetarian.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with being either vegetarian or non-vegetarian but I have noticed that people who have strict rules about not eating meat on certain days of the week (for religious reasons), end up eating way more meat than people who have no religious rules governing their eating habits. It’s a little bit like how deadlines make one work extra hard.

And here’s the more important takeaway.

If you're someone who wants to tell people not to consume meat, drop the whole religion / culture / history / sacred animal angle and remove the stigma associated with meat-eating. Let people come to their own conclusions.

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